Creating any kind of a change in our lives, whether a change around food habits, exercise or changes in our relationships, can be challenging. Often, we lose steam because we are not seeing the results we want quickly enough. How many people give up on diets after a week or two because they have not lost 10 pounds or because they are not fitting into their smaller clothes yet? This happens to so many of us and it is because creating change can be hard. We become frustrated and tired and then give up. It sometimes feels more comfortable to stay in a “stuck mode” rather than invest a lot of time and energy into creating change when you are uncertain about how, if and when the change will occur.
This happens to many parents who want to change their relationship or the dynamic they have with their teenager (or with each other) as well. Parents become frustrated with the dynamics of their family. Whether there is too much yelling or disrespect or not enough helping out or quality time being spent together – there are likely things you would like to see different with your family dynamic. The reality is, making a change like this is a process and getting from where you are today to where you want to be will take some effort and time.
What I have seen happen over and over is, parents put in the energy and effort initially and then give up too quickly. This is not a negative reflection at all on you, as a parent, if you can relate to this. It just speaks to how busy you are and how frustrating and seemingly slow the process can be to see positive changes in your relationship with your teenager. What I can tell you though, is that when parents are clear about what they would like to see different in their relationship with their teen AND they put in the effort consistently – they have great results.
Below are some examples of things that may be helpful to think about if you are wanting to make a change in your family:
You deserve to have things better or different if you are not happy with your current family dynamic. Be sure you have support and that you give yourself permission to focus on making the changes you want for yourself and your family.
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