When addressing your teenager’s behavior (or any child’s behavior for that matter), try to avoid using the following words, “DON’T, NO, STOP, QUIT”.  You may be asking...WHAT???!!!!  Let me explain so that this makes a little more sense.  When addressing your teenager’s behavior, you likely want to extinguish negative behaviors, but you should also want to promote that they engage more in positive behaviors.  When you start your conversation with the above four words…you are automatically putting your attention on the negative behavior you want less while not attending to the positive behavior you want more of.  It seems like a minor difference, but you will get more of what you put your focus and emphasis on.  If you are looking to increase positive behaviors, placing more focus on them will increase the chance that you will see more of them.

For example, instead of saying, “Stop playing games on your computer or phone so that you can get your homework done”, try saying, “I would l...